so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize