First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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