Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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