Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
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My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
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I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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