It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
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I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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