We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
