I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize