i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
