Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
