i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize