This is not my ceiling
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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