I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
try to milk me bitch
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