Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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