Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
