My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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