Im at strip club and am horny
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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