Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize