I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
