I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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