I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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