i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
