maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Dignity is for republicans.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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