I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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