I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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