Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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