Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
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other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
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My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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