we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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