32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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