wake up i wanna do it froggy style
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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