im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
