would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize