New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
