i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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