Im at strip club and am horny
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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