you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
