Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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