We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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