It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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