Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
