Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
