butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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