So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
