In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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