she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
