If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
