i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
