my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We had sex on a dog bed..
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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