Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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