benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
