I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize