ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I FOUND THE LEGS
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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