so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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