How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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