how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
