we have officially lost it.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
