So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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