Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
