is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
